“They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite”
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince
The experience of bereavement or loss can be very varied and your response to it is unique to you. It is quite normal to feel angry or sad when a loved one dies or leaves. Even the loss of a pet can have a major psychological effect, as they are often like a family member. You may feel grief, anger, loneliness or denial as a result of loss and bereavement. It is important to realise that any feelings you have are “normal” as they belong to you.
You may think “I should be feeling better by now” – every person grieves in their own way and in their own time. When you have lost someone special then you may always miss the space they leave in your life.
Talking to a counsellor may help you work through your feelings and allow you to express yourself in a non-judgemental space. Many of my bereaved clients have shared their worries about “burdening” their loved ones, especially if they are also grieving.
Bereavement counselling aims to get you to the point where you may feel able to function and feel “normal” again – however long it takes. By creating a place to keep the person you lost, and finding ways to remember them (like anniversary celebrations, or leaving flowers at a memorial site), you should be able to preserve their memory and honour the impact they had on your life.
It is about adjusting to a life without them but still being able to live your own life the way you choose.